FUNNY stuff

[fleetlordatvar]

English FAIL.

[fleetlordatvar]

I wonder how crazy cat people start?

[fleetlordatvar]

this seems so wrong, but so true. Get you college degree & MBA so you don't end up on the line!

[fleetlordatvar]

Here kitty kitty

[fleetlordatvar]

You have to scroll to the right, new format didn't work out; was good in preview, but not after being posted

[fleetlordatvar]

Why does the Pope kiss the ground each time that he lands ?
Have you ever flown with Spirit?

What's the purpose of the propeller?
To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!

Do not spin this aircraft. If the aircraft does enter a spin it will return to earth without further attention on the part of the aeronaut.
From first handbook issued with the Curtis-Wright flyer.

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the
overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before
assisting children or adults acting like children."

Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am
going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you
wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it`s a bit cold
outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

At the end of a flight: "Our flight attendants are now walking
through the aisles with trash receptacles for any garbage you might have
or anything else that you might wanna give us!"

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington
National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella...WHOA..!"

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the
flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

"Last one off the plane must clean it."

The landing had been particularly hard. As the passengers exited,
the pilot was standing at the door, thanking the passengers for flying
with them. A little old lady paused on her way out and spoke to him. She
asked, "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?"

Some pilot wisdom- aviation-humour.5ru.com

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back they get smaller. (Unless you keep pulling the stick back --- then they get bigger again)

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as a copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.

Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.

Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold, pilots!

Gravity never loses -- the best you can hope for is a draw!

Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, the runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago.

[fleetlordatvar]

i never paid attention before, but this is cute & funny from Frontier Airlines, anyone else have their models?, Fun Stuff


Animal Tales

Our spokesanimals represent our character, commitment to service, and humor. Each airplane carries a unique spokesanimal from our "stable."

We've highlighted a few of our more, um, outspoken spokesanimals below so you can get to know them.

We have more than 50 featured animals, and we've listed them all so you can meet the whole gang.


Larry the Lynx

• Favorite Movie: Airplane
• Quote: "It is an honor to be Frontier's Spokesman... or perhaps I should say Spokescat."
• Favorite Pastimes: Having his whiskers trimmed, cat napping on the tarmac, really big balls of yarn
• Pet Peeves: Lost luggage, hairballs, dirty litter boxes

Foxy the Fox

• Measurements: "Wouldn't you like to know?"
• Favorite Pastimes: Chasing rabbits, "vogueing" on the runway, looking foxy
• Quote: "Not in your lifetime."
• Pet Peeves: Foxtail coats, matted fur, fashionably late arrivals

Grizwald the Bear

• Weight: More than it should be
• Quote: "You gonna eat that?"
• Favorite Pastimes: Shaking his groove thing, hibernating, belly rubs
• Pet Peeves: Beehives, bear-skin rugs, delays on the runway

Jack the Rabbit

• Nickname: Love Shack Jack
• Favorite Pastimes: Eating carrot cake, getting de-iced, hopping from city to city
• Quote: "I taught the Easter Bunny everything he knows."
• Pet Peeves: Rabbits foot key chains, magicians who pull rabbits out of hats, racing tortoises

Flip the Bottle-Nosed Dolphin

• Most Despised Movie: Chicago
• Favorite Movie: Finding Nemo
• Quote: "That better be Dolphin-Safe Tuna, Grizwald!"
• Favorite Pastimes: Talking about Mexico, dreaming about Mexico, dreaming about talking about Mexico
• Pet Peeves: Jumping through hoops, blowhole jokes, being mistaken for a porpoise

Jim, Joe, Jay & Gary the Penguins

• Favorite Foods: Eskimo Pie, Gazpacho
• Pet Peeves: Warm fronts, Laryngitis, People asking us to sing "Far, Far Away"
• Favorite Song: I Believe I Can Fly
• Ambition: To open our own barber shop
• Quote: "Chill out, dude."

Sal the Cougar

• Favorite Play: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof
• Hobby: Stand Up Comedy.
• Quote: "Aviation's a tough business. It comes with a lot of baggage."
• Last job: Installed Mufflers. Found it exhausting.
• Pet Peeves: Hecklers. Being called a Puma. Shedding.
• Words of Wisdom: "You only have nine lives. Make them count."

Hector the Otter

• Favorite Movie: Tequila Sunrise
• Hobby: Taking siestas. Lots of 'em.
• Quote: "Mi aeroplano es su aeroplano."
• Pet Peeves: Being mistaken for a Beaver. Grizwald.
• Favorite food: Manhattan Clam Chowder

[fleetlordatvar]

More funnies from Frontier Airlines, i don't have TV programing so i haven't seen any of these; all new to me!































http://www.neverstop.com/frontier-ai...flip-to-mexico

[fleetlordatvar]

I love the funny signs, people who got bored.

[fleetlordatvar]